Foster parenting is not for the weak. It's got to be one of the hardest jobs I've ever done.
And you know what makes it hard? It's not the one million appointments.
It's not the daily logs and the incident reports.
It's not remember to take the form with you to the dentist and the doctor.
It's not even the navigating biological family relationships.
It's the fact that no one outside of the club gets it.
Tell someone you're a foster parent and their first response is always...
"Oh my goodness, you're so amazing. I could never do that."
Tell someone you're struggling and their first response is usually...
"Well you could just stop fostering and focus on your kids."
And so we tend to just not talk about it.
Not ask for help.
Stop sharing the hard parts.
We don't want to be looked at as a hero, because quite frankly we feel anything but a hero.
We don't want to be told to stop, because this feels clearly like our calling.
And then something that shouldn't feel lonely. Shouldn't be overwhelming. Suddenly is.
Over 400,000 kids in foster care in the US. I don't know what that works out to in terms of foster parents, but I'm going to guess a lot.
We aren't alone in this journey.
We aren't the only ones who feel the way we do.
We struggle with the things we're struggling with.
If you've followed me for a bit then you already know that I'm on a mission to help foster and adoptive parents learn more about early trauma and attachment. And to find hope and healing wherever they are on their fostering and adoption journey.
So I created Talk it Out Tuesday. And I'm bringing them back.
Talk it Out Tuesday is all about community and connection.
Come and ask questions. Come and listen. Come and find support.
Come for the whole time or just pop in for a bit.
The second Tuesday of every month we'll meet on zoom from 8-9:30pm EST.
Tuck the kids in bed and grab a glass of wine or cup of tea and let's connect.
You can't help your kids heal and juggle all the balls that you do if you're running on empty. So take some time to find hope that you're not alone, get your burning questions about attachment and fostering answered and meet a new friend or two who actually gets it without the judgement.
Our November meeting will be on Tuesday, November 9th. You can register for free by clicking here.