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This National Adoption month, give your child the gift of acknowledging the loss they experienced.

So this month is National Adoption Month.

And guys, can I be honest for a second? I'm struggling.

I'm struggling with celebrating something so broken.

With having a whole month all about adoption.

And here's why.

I used to be so gong-ho for adoption. I mistakenly celebrated Gotcha Day with banners and ice cream.

And then I realized, I was celebrating the day a family fell apart.

I was eating ice cream while a mama went to bed without her babies.

Is adoption beautiful?


Do some kids need a forever family? Absolutely.

But how can we celebrate something that represents such loss?

When, oh Lord, when will we stop expecting adoptees to be happy? To feel gratitude for what's happened to them?

How can we advocate for adoption when we don't advocate for social justice? For services for mama's who are struggling? For low-income housing and free access to rehab? For education and assistance?

Listen, I'm not saying that adoptions shouldn't be happening. I'm not saying everyone who has adopted is bad.

I'm simply asking, are we doing everything we can to avoid adoption? To use it as an absolute last resort?

So, as we wade through National Adoption month, instead of sharing that lame quote that stabs the heart of all adult adoptees, what can you do to actually bring change to our broken system?

Can you reach out to a birth family member and give them an update? Share some pictures with them? Can you acknowledge the loss amidst the celebration? Can you give your child space to feel something other than gratitude for adoption? Can you talk about your child's first family with them? Answer any questions they have and share what you know about them.

Every single adoption starts with loss.

Our tendency as adoptive parents is to gloss over that loss.

But I guarantee you that your child can't ignore it as easily as you can.

Every single adoption starts with loss.

Spend some time talking and thinking about that.

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